An Irish funeral is often a celebration of life filled with warmth, laughter, and stories. It's a chance to honor the person who has passed with joy, and remember the impact they had on the people around them.
If you’ve been invited to an Irish funeral or an Irish wake and are feeling a little lost about what to expect, we've got you covered!
This guide will walk you through the unique traditions of an Irish wake, from the celebratory atmosphere to the heartfelt tributes.
The Irish wake: A celebration of life
An Irish wake isn't quite like any other funeral or memorial service — it’s a heartfelt tribute with a unique feel of merriment and community.
The idea is to celebrate a life well-lived, sharing cherished memories and stories with warmth and laughter. Friends and family come together to honor the departed, not just in mourning, but also in joyful remembrance.
Here’s usually what you can expect if you’re attending an Irish wake:
- It’s a celebration of life: Unlike more somber funeral traditions, Irish wakes are known for their lively atmosphere.
Friends, family, and neighbors gather to share stories, sing songs, and reminisce about the life of the person. This communal outpouring of love provides comfort to the grieving family and strengthens the bonds within the community.
- The music will be lively: Music plays a central role in an Irish wake. Traditional jigs and lively songs fill the air, often accompanied by the bodhrán (a drum) and the lilting melody of the fiddle.
These tunes aren't meant to induce sadness, but rather to evoke cherished memories and encourage guests to share stories of the person. Laughter and tears mingle freely as people remember funny anecdotes and acts of kindness that made the person who passed truly special.
- There will be food: Traditionally, guests contribute food and drink to the gathering. This potluck-style approach not only lightens the burden on the grieving family but also reflects the idea that everyone shares in the responsibility of honoring the person who has passed.
From hearty stews and soda bread to sweet treats and, of course, a good Irish whiskey, the spread reflects the warmth and generosity of the community.
Guidelines for attending an Irish funeral
If you’ve been invited to an Irish funeral and aren’t sure what to expect, do, bring, or wear, don’t worry!
By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your presence at an Irish funeral is a source of comfort and support for the family.
What to bring?
- Food or drink: A thoughtful contribution to the communal meal is a lovely gesture. Consider the family's preferences if known.
If unsure, a simple dish like a casserole, cookies, or a fruit platter is always appreciated. Opt for finger foods or small portions to make it easier for guests to mingle.
- Flowers (Optional): While not mandatory, flowers can be a wonderful way to express your condolences.
However, be mindful of strong scents or overly large arrangements that might crowd the space. You could even consider a potted plant as a lasting tribute.
- Your presence: Ultimately, your presence is the most important offering. Sharing memories of the person and offering words of comfort to the family is the truest way to show your support.
What to wear?
- Dress respectfully: While Irish wakes are known for a more vibrant atmosphere than some funerals, dressing respectfully is still important.
Opt for subdued colors like black, navy, or gray. Avoid overly casual attire or anything with loud patterns.
How do you participate?
- Offer condolences: When greeting the family, offer sincere condolences. A simple "I'm so sorry for your loss" or a specific memory of the person is always appreciated.
- Read the room: Irish wakes can fluctuate between moments of quiet reflection and lively storytelling. Be mindful of the mood and adjust your conversation level accordingly.
- Share memories: This is a time to celebrate a life well lived. If you have a fond memory or anecdote, share it with the family and others.
- Offer help: If you see a way to be of assistance, don't hesitate to offer. This could be anything from helping with food service to simply refilling someone's drink.
The Irish funeral procession and service
The Irish funeral procession and service offer a final opportunity to honor the person and provide closure for the family. Here’s how this usually unfolds:
The procession:
- The procession often begins at the funeral home or a designated location where mourners gather.
- A hearse carrying the casket traditionally leads the procession, often accompanied by a piper playing a lament — a mournful melody that reflects the gravity of the occasion.
- Family and friends typically follow the hearse on foot, creating a visible display of unity and support for the grieving family. The procession may travel past significant places in the person’s life, such as their childhood home or local church.
The service:
- Irish funerals are predominantly Catholic, and the service typically takes place in a church. A priest will officiate, leading prayers and readings from scripture.
Hymns play a central role in the service, offering comfort and inspiration.
- Eulogy (Optional): A close friend or family member may deliver a eulogy, sharing memories and celebrating the life of the person.
Following the service:
- After the service, the procession will typically make its way to the cemetery for the burial. A priest may offer a final blessing at the graveside.
- Alternatively, the family may opt for a cremation. Cremation service providers like Meadow allow for a cremation with a viewing so that loved ones have a sense of peace and closure.
- Following the burial or cremation, mourners often gather for a reception or "waking wake" — a meal traditionally held after the burial, separate from the pre-funeral wake. This allows for continued fellowship and support for the grieving family.
Musical traditions at an Irish funeral
Music plays a profoundly moving role in Irish funerals. It offers solace to those grieving and celebrating the life of the departed.
You can expect to hear traditional Irish melodies and songs, often with both poignant and uplifting elements. Here’s a brief overview:
- Lamentations: These traditional Gaelic songs, sung a cappella (without instrumental accompaniment), are a hallmark of Irish funerals. Their mournful melodies, rich with raw emotion, express the deep sorrow of loss. Examples include "Caoineadh na mBan" (The Lament of the Women) and "Caoineadh Thomáis Ruaidh" (The Lament for Red Thomas).
- Hymns: Catholic hymns remain a central part of the service, offering comfort and a sense of spiritual connection.
Familiar hymns like "Amazing Grace" and "How Great Thou Art" are popular choices. Additionally, Irish hymns like "Be Thou My Guardian, Ever Near" ("Abair Aistear") and "Hail Glorious St. Patrick" ("Seachtain Naofa Pádraig") can be sung in Gaelic or English, adding a touch of Irish heritage to the ceremony.
- Irish ballads: Beyond hymns and lamentations, traditional Irish ballads can be woven into the service.
These songs often tell stories of love, loss, and the beauty of the Irish landscape. Songs like "Danny Boy," a poignant ballad about parting and longing, or "The Parting Glass," a traditional farewell song that speaks of raising a glass to a life well-lived, can be particularly fitting choices.
- Instrumental music: The lilting melody of the Uilleann pipes (Irish bellows-driven bagpipes) or the mournful strains of the fiddle can add a bit of Irish tradition to the service.
Spoken tributes: Prayers, blessings, and poems
Spoken tributes are a cornerstone of Irish funerals, offering a space for reflection, spiritual comfort, and heartfelt expression. Here are some popular elements you might encounter:
- Prayers: Traditional prayers like the "Our Father" and "Hail Mary" are often recited during the service. These familiar words provide comfort and a sense of connection to a higher power.
- Readings from scripture: Passages from the Bible chosen for their themes of loss, remembrance, and hope are often incorporated.
- Eulogies: A close friend or family member may deliver a eulogy, sharing stories and memories that celebrate the life and character of the deceased.
- Poems: Irish funerals may also feature poems, both traditional and contemporary. These can be poems chosen by the family, or even original pieces written in memory of the deceased.
- The Mourner's Kaddish: For mourners of Jewish faith, the Mourner's Kaddish is a prayer recited for comfort and remembrance.
Gaelic blessings for comfort:
- "Dia go deo leat" (pronounced dee-ah guh dyaw lyet): Meaning "God be with you forever," this blessing offers comfort and hope for the afterlife.
- "Go raibh maith agat" (pronounced gur-riv mach ag-ut): This simple phrase translates to "Thank you," but in the context of a funeral, it expresses gratitude for the life lived and the memories shared.
- "Slán agus sábháilte" (pronounced slaun agus sah-vahlt-cha): Translating to "Safe and sound," this blessing expresses a wish for the deceased to find peace in their final rest.
- "Go ndéana Dia trócaire ar a anam" (May God have mercy on his/her soul): This common saying is often expressed as a condolence or during prayers for someone who has departed.
Frequently asked questions
What is a typical Irish funeral?
A typical Irish funeral consists of two main parts: The wake and the funeral service. The wake is a lively gathering where friends and family share stories and memories of the person who has passed, often accompanied by music and food.
The funeral service, usually held in a church, is a more somber affair with prayers, hymns, and eulogies.
What is the Irish saying when someone dies?
A common Irish phrase you’ll hear or see when someone dies is "Suaimhneas Síoraí Air" or "Go Raibh Suaimhneas Síoraí Air."
These phrases translate literally to "Eternal Rest Upon Him" (or "Her" or "Them" depending on the deceased). They're the closest equivalent in Irish to the common saying "Rest in Peace."
How long are Irish funerals?
The length of an Irish funeral can vary, but typically the wake will last for two nights, and the funeral service itself will be around an hour.
Do you wear black to an Irish wake?
While black is always a respectful choice. You can also opt for subdued colors like navy or gray, or ask the family if they have a specific dress code in mind.
What happens after an Irish funeral?
Following the burial, mourners often gather for a reception or "waking wake" — a meal traditionally held to provide continued fellowship and support for the grieving family.
Next steps
We hope this article helps you prepare for an Irish funeral. If you’ve recently lost a loved one, please accept our deepest condolences.
Coping with a loss is never easy, and if you’re still planning out your memorial event in the Los Angeles area, consider using Meadow.
At Meadow, we understand the weight of this moment. We offer a more compassionate and meaningful way to celebrate a life well-lived with customized memorial planning services.
Our team of caring memorial planners will partner with you during this tender time to create an occasion as remarkable as the life it honors.
With our licensed team, you can expect:
- A weight off your shoulders: Our memorial planners will take care of every detail, and they’ll be in the background at your memorial, making sure everything runs smoothly.
- The perfect location: Our planners help you find the perfect location, whether that’s an idyllic beachfront, your loved one’s favorite restaurant, or the comfort of your own home.
- Transparent pricing: Starting from $3,900, our memorial prices are transparent and easy to understand.
- The personal touch: Our memorial planners will make sure your loved one’s presence is felt throughout the occasion.
Explore our Personalized Memorial Services.
